Arnaud’s Story: Living With IBS

Chronic Illness

August 13, 2026•5 min read

Arnaud’s Story: Living With IBS

For more than 30 years, I lived with Irritable Bowel Syndrome in silence.

It was always there, affecting my everyday life. It was unpredictable, uncomfortable and often humiliating.

But I learned how to hide it well.

I told myself it was simply something I had to live with—something that did not need too much attention.

Something you were expected to live with

When I was diagnosed decades ago, there did not seem to be much that could be done.

The message was essentially that you had to manage it, avoid certain foods and continue with your life.

So that was what I tried to do.

I cut down on fatty foods, avoided sugar and paid attention to what seemed to trigger my symptoms. I tried to keep everything under control without allowing anyone to see how much it affected me.

But living with IBS involves much more than managing a list of foods.

There is the pain and discomfort. There is the unpredictability. There is also the constant awareness of what your body might do—and whether you will be able to hide it if something goes wrong.

When life became heavier

Over the years, I began noticing that my symptoms often became harder to manage when life felt particularly heavy.

When my father developed dementia, I spent much of my time caring for him.

Watching someone you love gradually lose themselves is difficult to describe. There was stress, sorrow and an enormous sense of helplessness. I tried to keep going and do what was needed, but the emotional weight of the situation affected my entire life.

My digestive symptoms became harder to manage again.

I do not believe that stress was the whole explanation for my IBS. But I began to recognise that my emotional and physical wellbeing were not separate. When I was carrying more than I could manage, my body often seemed to carry it too.

When my own health began to unravel

During this period, my wider health also became more difficult.

One day, while driving home, I experienced such intense pain in my chest that I had to pull over on the side of a forest road and call for help.

It turned out not to be my heart.

Soon afterwards, I needed gallbladder surgery. This was a separate health problem, but it happened during the same intensely stressful period.

As my father’s condition worsened, it felt as though my own health was beginning to fall apart too.

I had spent so much time caring for someone else that I had barely considered what my own body might need.

The symptoms no one saw

Throughout all of this, I never really gave my IBS the attention it needed.

Nobody around me did either.

It was always treated as something minor—something you could “just live with.”

But chronic pain, discomfort and the constant anxiety about your body are never minor.

They gradually affect your confidence, energy and enjoyment of life.

IBS can influence where you go, what you eat and how safe you feel being away from home. Even when nothing happens, part of your mind may remain alert to what could happen.

You may plan around toilets, food and symptoms without anyone else realising how much thought it requires.

The condition may not cause the visible inflammation or damage associated with inflammatory bowel disease, but that does not mean it cannot cause genuine suffering.

A wake-up call at 51

After years of grief, stress and physical exhaustion, I am learning to listen to my body again.

A few months ago, I came across Emmely’s story and Wellness by Emmely. Something in her experience resonated with me.

Her journey became a wake-up call.

It reminded me that taking care of yourself is not selfish. It is necessary.

At 51, I finally decided that it was time to take my wellbeing seriously.

It was time to stop ignoring what my body had been trying to tell me for decades.

Learning to listen instead of endure

For much of my life, I believed that managing IBS meant enduring it quietly.

I thought strength meant continuing as usual without drawing attention to what I was experiencing.

Now, I am beginning to understand that listening to my body is not the same as allowing my symptoms to control my life.

It means noticing what affects me.

It means recognising when stress, grief or exhaustion may be making everything more difficult.

It means accepting that my needs matter too.

I am still learning what genuinely supports me. I do not have a perfect solution or all the answers.

But I am finally paying attention.

The emotional weight we carry

Living with IBS has taught me that digestive symptoms do not exist separately from the rest of life.

Our bodies can be affected by the stress we experience, the sorrow we carry and the ways we repeatedly push our own needs aside.

That does not mean IBS is “all in your head.” The symptoms are physical and real.

It means that caring for ourselves may involve more than reacting to the latest digestive symptom. It may also mean becoming aware of the wider circumstances surrounding it.

For me, that has meant recognising years of caregiving, grief and exhaustion—and understanding that I cannot continue putting my own wellbeing last.

It is never too late to begin

I have lived with IBS for more than 30 years, but I am only now beginning to give my body the attention it deserves.

I cannot change the years I spent enduring my symptoms in silence.

But I can change how I respond to myself now.

I can become more curious about my patterns instead of simply trying to suppress them. I can make space for my own needs. I can learn what supports my wellbeing without expecting myself to find a perfect solution.

For anyone reading this who has been quietly enduring their own pain, I want you to know that it is never too late to begin listening.

You do not need to have everything figured out.

Sometimes the first step is simply acknowledging that what you are experiencing matters.

This is Arnaud’s personal experience of living with IBS. Symptoms, circumstances and helpful forms of support will differ between individuals. Speak with a qualified healthcare professional if you are concerned about digestive symptoms or changes in your health.